Stories of black women dating white men
The story of Till's murder didn't scare me as much as it made me want to piss off racist fucks even more. I don't say that as some guilt-ridden rationalization for dating white women. Before I was even 10, I started having crushes on girls, trying to get my first kiss, and all of that. I thought this girl was hot because of her freckles and I thought that girl was hot because of her soft hair or whatever and I just wasn't in fifth grade thinking about the racial ramifications of features that I found attractive. I was consuming all of this media and I could just sense from the adults around me that, as a black person, when I was watching , it was expected that I be more attracted to the girls in Destiny's Child than Britney Spears.By middle school, and especially high school, those expectations were even more apparent.A racist jury acquitted his murderers, Roy Bryant and J. Milam, despite overwhelming evidence, and, to rub salt in the wound, both admitted to killing Till in magazine the next year. The shoe was on the other foot for once and so be it if two white people wound up dead. That's harsh, but that's the historical context of black men dating white women that I unfortunately have to consider when doing the same. Even then, I understood that it was racial, but there was a disconnection from my personal reality. Whatever I learned from the trial was tucked away as something that I should know as a black man, but it didn't have a life-altering impact on my own development. For whatever implications the trial had, that shit also had nothing to do with me. My attraction to them was likely a natural response to my environment. Nobody was trying to assimilate with white people, but sometimes that's just the way things go when you want a better home and better schools for your family.Though those events are something of which I'm always cognizant, I didn't adhere to them as any sort of cautionary tale. The idea was always to live my life however I wanted to live it. But it does have an unforeseen effect on your outlook when you're one of the few black families in town. Black women have told me it's because I'm a sellout.The white men who can get past the mental anguish of my black penis tarnishing "their" women think I'm making some latent admission that their race has the most attractive women.dt ogilvie, co-authored a phenomenal paper about African American Women Executives (AAWE).Her paper documents how AAWE leadership traits are very different from white women’s.
Part of the dilemma lies in women of color thinking that men outside of their race won’t be attracted to them.
White women range from those so intrigued by black men that it veers into fetish to those so reluctant to date black men that it feels more racist than preference-driven.
These are generalizations, of course, but they are attitudes that I've personally encountered.
The good news is that there are a growing number of white men who know, trust and rely on their black women colleagues.
By the way: If you are unsure of what a “hoochie mama” is, I recommend Luke Visconti’s Ask the White Guy column is a top draw on Diversity